I’m way too comfortable here.

And I’m completely disappointed in myself. When I think about starting a new church I think about serving and selflessness and sacrifice. If I’m being honest, I wouldn’t really define my ministry in that way anymore. I’d define it as important and necessary and meaningful, but it’s also pretty convenient for me. It’s based around my schedule, my to-do list, my priorities, etc.

I need to be turned upside down before I can turn the world upside down.

Somewhere along the way I got screwed up. My desire for serving and really putting people first is still there, but it looks different now. It’s way more selfish and thought-out, as opposed to before when I would do anything at any point for anyone. On some level as I’ve grown I’ve developed healthy boundaries, which is good. But that’s not what I’m talking about here. I guess I’m talking about passion. Passion and love for people that makes you do crazy things, like serving in the children’s ministry when you really don’t want to, or coming in at 7am to set up the auditorium on Sunday morning.

In this way, I’ve become the opposite of who God wants me to be. I need to be turned upside down.

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